Struggle of Power in the bedroom

So the other day when I woke up I decided to surprise my husband with a good morning bj. While I stared going down on him he grabs my head and starts to motion what he wanted me to do. Of course being it change of seasons I typically wake up with the sniffles. I started to not be able to control my breaths so I moved his hands. He took this as a sign of I don't want your help and I want to be in control. Since we used no communication during all of this both of us became upset and removed ourselves from one another all over a lack of communication and struggle over control.

This could have easily been avoided if i would have jut said something to my husband. Why isn't it appropriate to talk and communicate while conducting a sexual act? Everyone always says you need to communicate in the bedroom but instead or instinctive actions seem to come out first before our words. My husband and I of course talked about this later in the day and we did make up, don't worry. So the lesson here is to communicate at all times so there is no mixed signals over control.